From the mind of the Evil Alchemist, I am . . . the Balladeer!!!!!!

Tony Manero "clearing" the "engrams" of his past life using the "E-meter" when he was a mere Scientologist puppy at "Operating Thetan Level III.". Ah, I remember the halcyon days of Level III. Simple times. Simple times. I'm so sick of telephatically conversing with juniper trees and lions at the zoo.

The era of cheap energy enters the gloaming. Oil approaches $60 per barrel. Peak Oil cometh!

When Bertha joined the force, she knew it would have its perks! "I'm never washing my hand again," chirped Bertha.

Hide your husbands!!!! She's coming!!!!!