And I'm still a lawyer! Definitely not a movie because evil consistently wins!

Wow, your daughter is a spittin' image of you!

Remember

The Evil Alchemist never disappoints. Once again, yours truly wears egg. Such brutal photo-shoppery!!!!!

Nature is a cruel bitch. And we haven't heard the last of her.

The bell tolls for the cheap oil epoch!!!!! The Eco-Armageddon cometh!!!!! Hope you can forage.

What are the chances of a guy like me and a girl like you getting together? One in a trillion, huh. So you're saying there's a chance. Ssssh. Don't worry. I read you, Kelly Monaco!